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Tough Day? Need a laugh? We're happy to oblige! The itscupid jokes and humor archive is the largest of its kind, and is presented with no pesky pop up ads, redirect spam pages or browser spyware to muck up your puter! The world needs more laughter and we've compiled a fantastic array of
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page.Love Related Jokes and Relationship Humor Archive

Smooth Pick Up Lines for Ladies are the editors picks for the slickest pick up lines ever used to entrance the ladies For entertainment
purposes only and should only be used by professional single men only.
Adult Humor and other adult content can be found within these pages. You
must 18 years of age or older to read and deliver these jokes to friends and or family.
Smooth Editor Chosen Pick Up Lines
- I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big
Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
- I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest
woman on earth tonight.
- Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can
blow the hell outta me.
- I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside
Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille
name tag.
- I'd really like to see how you look when I'm
naked.
- Is that a ladder in your stockings or the
stairway to heaven?
- You might not be the best looking girl here,
but beauty is only a light switch away.
- Yo Babybee cakes, Are those real?
- You must be the limp doctor because I've got a
stiffy.
- I'd walk a million miles for one of your
smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
- If it's true that we are what we eat, then I
could be you by morning.
- (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just
going to suck itself.
- You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with
me.
- You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any
questions?
- Those clothes would look great in a crumpled
heap on my bedroom floor.
- F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry
Titsbottom?
- Those clothes would look great in a crumpled
heap on my bedroom floor.
- My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be
screaming it later.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should
I walk by again?
- Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were
looking for me.
- My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M
cute.
- Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over
and talk to you.
- My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me
anytime you want to.
- I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how
much have you been drinking?
- If you were the last woman and I was the last
man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
- Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No?
Why? Don't you like pizza?
- Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you
shouldn't go home without me.
- Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
- Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can
see myself in them.
- I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I
think he went into this cheap motel room.
- (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get
you out of these wet clothes.
Snappy female comebacks to guy's cheesy pick ups
lines
- Man:"Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD
Clinic."
- Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there
anymore."
- Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit
down."
- Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit
under a rock?"
- Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to
mine."
- Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your
number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book.">
- Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
- Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
- Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
- Man: "How do you like your eggs in the
morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
- Man:"I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
- Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
- Man:"If I could see you naked, I'd die
happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd
probably die laughing".
- Man:"Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
- Man:"I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
- Man:"I would go to the end of the world for
you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay
there?
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